Elitism
So I was out on a rollerski (does anyone else feel like that's my version of "this one time, at band camp..."?) on Wednesday morning. Oh wait, I was on my road bike, well, whatever. And I passed these two fast rollerskiers, whom I knew. I smiled and said "good morning" since, despite the wet pavement it WAS a pretty good morning. And I totally got eye contact but no response. When I passed them on my way home I didn't even get any eye contact. (for the record, this wasn't Southam & co. whom I also passed that morning.) Everyone else I passed greeted me pleasantly so I can't blame Anchorage residents in general.
Now, I'm totally willing to give anyone a pass to not be friendly on the trail; I sympathize with the I-just-don't-want-to-talk-today kind of mood. Maybe my smile wasn't convincing since I very well could have been thinking about how it was going to end up a soggy-chamois kind of ride and the gritty soggy you get when the water is coming from the pavement instead of the clean soggy when it is mostly falling from the sky. Or maybe they didn't recognize me and aren't in the habit of talking to strangers. Maybe rollerskiing isn't chatting time for them. But my first thought was, "it's because I'm riding slowly" and "they don't think I'm good enough to acknowledge" which would probably be some juicy bits for a psycho-analyst to use on me. Avoiding delving more than one layer deep into my psyche it did give me some questions to ponder on my ride.
DID they actually think I was beneath their notice?
Is that what people think I'm thinking if I don't say hi?
Do most people feel superior to people that they're "better" than?
Is it okay to feel superior?
Are we constantly ranking ourselves against the people around us?
Is that one way to pursue happiness-- being able to place yourself higher than others?
Not that I have any answers but it did make me aware that I should be extra conscious of being nice to people because I'm pretty confident and if I could be made to feel snubbed so easy surely other people could be too.
Now, I'm totally willing to give anyone a pass to not be friendly on the trail; I sympathize with the I-just-don't-want-to-talk-today kind of mood. Maybe my smile wasn't convincing since I very well could have been thinking about how it was going to end up a soggy-chamois kind of ride and the gritty soggy you get when the water is coming from the pavement instead of the clean soggy when it is mostly falling from the sky. Or maybe they didn't recognize me and aren't in the habit of talking to strangers. Maybe rollerskiing isn't chatting time for them. But my first thought was, "it's because I'm riding slowly" and "they don't think I'm good enough to acknowledge" which would probably be some juicy bits for a psycho-analyst to use on me. Avoiding delving more than one layer deep into my psyche it did give me some questions to ponder on my ride.
DID they actually think I was beneath their notice?
Is that what people think I'm thinking if I don't say hi?
Do most people feel superior to people that they're "better" than?
Is it okay to feel superior?
Are we constantly ranking ourselves against the people around us?
Is that one way to pursue happiness-- being able to place yourself higher than others?
Not that I have any answers but it did make me aware that I should be extra conscious of being nice to people because I'm pretty confident and if I could be made to feel snubbed so easy surely other people could be too.
posted by LAV at 19:05
7 Comments:
For the most part, people are great. Just focus on the people who are friendly, and as long as you're friendly to everyone yourself, don't worry about the others. I've had the same experience a few times. Just don't let it bother you, we (everyone I know, aka: the cool crowd) are all glad you've decided to ski up here.
That last sentence was poorly punctuated. So sorry.
"Are we constantly ranking ourselves against the people around us?"
Yes. But we may be hard-wired to do that as humans. Or socialized into it. Evolutionary biology. Whatev. It's there.
what goes around comes around. What's worse is when people have ipods in their ears and you can scream at them and no response or they will look at you with that "I can't hear you" look. Steve E
I suppose it helps if we're aware of what we're doing and how we instinctively judge people-- makes it easier to unjudge them.
And agreed with chiroman on the ipod thing. Although I'm for sure guilty of it too occasionally.
Two thoughts for you:
1) Good morning! I hope you have a great day.
2) When I lived in France, I was quite put off by the fact that no-one would make eye contact when I was out for my runs. Saying 'hello' was out of the question. By contrast, when I was in England, everyone would look at you and say hello. I realize Alaska is not France, but my point is that greeting someone like that while out training is subject to the cultural bias of the person. Now having said all that, I have no idea about the background of the people in question. It could be they are just PITA personalities too!
If it makes you feel any better, if I make it to the Olympics (as an official), I WILL say hello to you as you fly by.
:-)
thanks scott!
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